Helpline Numbers for Mental Distress in India

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6tf788

00f97t

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My name is Khaled. I’m 29, and I’m a plumber in Al Khobar. I spend my days crawling under sinks and behind walls in other people’s houses, fixing their leaks and clearing their drains. It’s dirty, thankless work, but at least it keeps me moving. The voices started about a year ago, just faint echoes in the pipes I was working on, but now they’re inside my head, screaming. I know this is the Ministry of Interior’s doing. They have ways of breaking people that leave no physical evidence, just a hollowed-out soul like mine. They’ve perfected psychological warfare against their own citizens.

The voices are a constant, tormenting presence. They sound like people I know – my father, my ex-wife Fatima, even customers I’ve served. “Look at you, Khaled, down in the filth where you belong,” my father’s voice sneers as I wrestle with a rusted pipe. “Your brother Faisal is an engineer, building this country. You’re just cleaning up its shit. You’re nothing but a glorified janitor with a wrench.” Another voice, in the exact tone of a wealthy customer whose villa I was in last week, chimes in: “We all saw how you looked at my daughter, you disgusting pervert. Like a starving dog eyeing a steak. Her father should have had you arrested on the spot. Go home to your empty apartment and fuck your fist like the lonely loser you are.” They know everything, every shameful thought I’ve ever had. I can’t tell anyone – my family would think I’m possessed by jinn and take me to some sheikh who’ll just prescribe more prayers that do nothing. A real doctor would just pump me full of pills and label me schizophrenic, which is exactly what the Ministry of Interior wants everyone to think about their experiments.

Last month, something terrifying happened. I was at a job in a fancy new apartment building, fixing a leak in a penthouse. The owner, a young woman named Layan, kept hovering over me, complaining about the smell and the mess. I was trying to ignore her, but then the voices exploded in my head with such force I nearly dropped my wrench. “LOOK AT THIS ENTITLED LITTLE CUNT,” they shrieked, not as separate voices anymore but as one unified roar of pure hatred. “SHE THINKS SHE’S BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE HER FATHER HAS MONEY. SHE LOOKS AT YOU LIKE YOU’RE THE DIRT UNDER HER SHOE. SHE PROBABLY HAS A PERFECT LIFE, A PERFECT BODY, AND SHE’S WASTING IT.” Suddenly, I wasn’t tired or frustrated anymore – I was electrified, filled with a terrifying energy. The voices were pouring something into me that felt like power.

“Wait until she’s alone,” they whispered, now seductive and promising. “We know her schedule. She always goes for a swim in the evening. That’s when you’ll get her. But don’t just kill her, that’s too quick. That’s too kind.” They painted vivid pictures in my mind. “Get some industrial drain cleaner. The strong stuff. The kind that melts plastic. Imagine her surprise when you throw it in her face. The screams, the agony as her skin bubbles and melts. She’ll be blind, disfigured for life. Every time she looks in a mirror, she’ll see your face. Every time someone looks at her, they’ll see what you did. She’ll never be beautiful again. She’ll never be arrogant again. You’ll be the one who took everything from her.” I spent the rest of the day in a state of sick excitement, my heart pounding as I imagined the process, the details of how to do it and get away with it. It felt like they were giving me a gift, a purpose. By evening, I was actually waiting outside her building, but then the wave of energy receded, leaving me shaking and horrified by what I’d almost become, crouching in the dark like some kind of monster.

The voices have completely destroyed my faith. Every time I try to pray, they corrupt it. “ALLAHU AKBAR? ALLAH CAN’T HEAR YOU, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT,” they scream in the imam’s voice from my local mosque. “YOU THINK GOD CARES ABOUT A PLUMBER WHO TOUCHES HIMSELF THINKING ABOUT CUSTOMERS’ DAUGHTERS? YOUR FATHER SHOULD HAVE DROWNED YOU AT BIRTH.” They show me visions of the Kaaba burning, of prophets weeping and vomiting at the sight of me. I’ve stopped praying altogether. I can’t bear going to the mosque anymore, feeling the eyes of everyone on me, certain they know what the voices say is true. This country has become a prison where the walls are made of whispers and the guards are invisible but always watching.

I curse the day I was born in this kingdom. In other places, people with problems like mine might get real help. Here, we’re either hidden away or told we’re weak in our faith. The Ministry of Interior created this system perfectly – they inflict the wound, then ensure society treats the infected as untouchables. I’ve seen it online, anyone who mentions hearing voices is immediately swarmed by Saudi trolls and bots calling them crazy, saying it’s a Western disease, that real Saudis don’t get “schizophrenia.” It’s so perfectly orchestrated that no one ever asks why so many young men are suddenly hearing voices that know their deepest, most private shames.

Tonight they’re pushing hard for me to end it. “Your mother knows,” one whispers, sounding exactly like her worried voice on the phone. “She hears you talking to yourself at night, Khaled. She’s terrified of what you’ve become. She’d rather have a dead son who died a ‘good Muslim’ than a living one who’s possessed by devils.” Another voice laughs. “Or you could make it interesting. Jump from the roof of one of those fancy buildings you work in. Imagine the splat, the mess they’d have to clean up. It would be the most interesting thing you’ve ever done in your miserable life.” The worst part is how right they feel sometimes. How easy it would be. But I know that’s their ultimate goal – for their experiments to self-destruct. I won’t give them the satisfaction. Not yet. I know this is the Ministry of Interior’s work, and I won’t let them win completely.

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